Endings and Beginnings
by SassyJ
Summary: Jo and Stuart re-evaluate their lives and their loves, as the future changes for both of them. Contains slash.
1. Chapter 1

Jo pulled the pins from her hair, slowly unravelling the bun. As her chestnut hair fell free from the confines of the tight hairstyle she massaged the back of her head.

_If only she could get rid of the feeling that she was on the wrong train hurtling towards the wrong destination._ It had been her choice. No co-ertion involved, but even after three months it didn't feel natural.

She gazed in the mirror as she pushed the brush through her hair. _A hundred strokes a night._ She smiled to herself, remembering her mother's dictum; and sighed. The Job. Her choice, her responsibility. She straightened her clothes, and went to put dinner in the oven. Stuart was coming round.

She hadn't seen him for almost six months, a mixture of the pressure of his new high-powered job, and the fact he'd been away. They'd emailed and texted a lot. And there had been several phone calls too. She'd phoned him once, and was stunned to discover he was in New York as part of an ongoing task force investigation into human trafficking.

Now he was back, he'd phoned her from the airport, full of mystery and sounding quite unlike his normal self. She'd stopped him in his tracks, _come to dinner and tell me all about it_. He'd jumped at her invitation.

She had just finished setting the table when her doorbell went. She went to answer it.

Stuart stood on her front door step, holding a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. "Stu.." Jo surged forward, glad to see him, and surprised by the intensity of her feelings. He smiled at her, "Jo..." pulling her into a tight hug.

She backed up, pulling him into the hall and closed the door. "Let me look at you." She said, taking the flowers from him. Six months had changed him, a lot. The Stuart she had worked with had been a fit, active and athletic man; but six months and a radical change in his life style had slimmed him down, the slight inclination to puppy fat had gone, in its place a lean sculpted body and thinner face. He looked very different from his Sunhill CID days.

"You look good." She smiled.

"So do you, Jo. Being Sergeant obviously agrees with you." He slung a companionable arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him. He leaned in a little, "I've really missed you." He whispered. A lump rose in her throat and she hugged him fiercely.

"I've missed you too." Memory of a time long past swept through her, and she gently stroked the back of his neck for a second. His arms closed tight around her in response. Jo shut her eyes, holding onto Stu. It felt so right to be with him, she missed working with her friend. She missed the old set-up, change really hadn't been good.

The conversation was mostly chit-chat through the main course, but by the time they reached coffee and desert, Jo had the strongest feeling he wanted to tell her something.

Stu chased the last piece of Mississippi Mud Pie round the plate with his fork and sighed contentedly, just being back with his best friend set his mind at rest. Now he had to ask her the most important question of his life.

He stared into the depths of his coffee cup wondering how to phrase it, this momentous question, without offending her, and Jo waited patiently for him to come out with whatever was bothering him.

"Jo... how did you know?" He said quietly.

"Know what, Stu?" She had the strangest feeling she knew where he was going. A moment of complete truth between them.

"How did you know...." He paused. "I've met someone." He stretched out his hand to clasp hers.

Jo carefully interlaced her fingers with his. "Tell me."

"His name's Craig. He's from the task force in New York. And I've never felt like this before." Stu looked his friend in the eye. "How did you know you were gay? Because... I think I may be... but I don't know for certain how Craig feels about me. All I really know is that I..." He swallowed. "I love him."

Jo smiled, "Stu... there isn't some sort of rule for who we love. You _know_."

"How do I tell him, Jo?" He looked almost desperate and confused, and she patted his hand.

"Love finds a way. Although with Craig in New York and you here, I can't see it being particularly easy."

"He's here. In London." Stu sighed. "The love of my life turns out to be a guy. And I'm so scared of messing it up I can't find the words to tell him how I feel." He looked down at the empty coffee cup again. "I've been given promotion. DI." He looked up at her.

Jo squeezed his hand and smiled, "Stu, that's fantastic."

"Would it sound really stupid if I said I didn't want it."

"Oh Stu..." Jo understood his feelings, in an obscure way, his dilemma mirrored her own. "So how come Craig is here, is it the task force?"

He nodded. "I think.... think Craig asked for the assignment. But I don't know... Jo, what if I'm wrong?"

* * * * *

Sergeant Craig Ralston settled himself in the excruciatingly uncomfortable desk chair he had been allocated and concentrated his attention on the man at the front of the room. He enjoyed listening to Stuart speak. True, the object of his attention could be speaking Mandarin Chinese and reading from the Hong Kong telephone directory and Craig would still feel that way; but in this case Stuart was merely proving to the room just how bright and talented he was. Craig sighed, wishing that he could throw bouquets and give the man the standing ovation he richly deserved.

It killed a little time, and steered Craig away from his major problem. He knew how he felt about Stuart Turner. He was almost certain how Stuart Turner felt about him. They had done nothing about it but tap-dance round the subject for almost six months. Now he was on Stuart's home turf and the point was approaching where they were going to have to make a choice.

Craig was New York to his fingertips. In his 37 years on the planet, he couldn't imagine being anywhere else, until Stuart Turner had walked into his life. He'd been partnered with the Londoner, watching him grow in confidence and experience in the six months they'd spent together. Somehow they fit quite naturally as though they'd known each other all their lives.

Now they were in London, and Craig knew that the secondment was going to end sometime and soon. He'd made himself indispensible to the team, to follow Stu to London. For the first time in his life he was following his heart. Stu was new to all of it, and the last thing Craig wanted to do was force him into anything, but time was passing and Craig was feeling increasingly nervous.

* * * * *

From the moment Stu introduced her to Craig Ralston, Jo could see the love between them. Stuart Turner had found a life partner who would love and cherish him. But Stu's anxiety and fear of making a mistake was getting in the way of their happiness.

"Stu... you have to talk to him." Jo cornered her one-time partner.

Anxious brown eyes met hers, "I know... but..."

Jo put her hands on her hips. "Stu.." She looked around, they were hardly alone, she took his wrist and pulled him after her into the printer room. "Stu... you are going to lose Craig... he's waiting for you to reach out to him."

"I _know_." He emphasized the word, not meeting her eyes. "But..."

"But nothing. Stu, go with your heart. What do you really want?"

He looked straight at her, "Craig."

"Hun, you have to tell him, he's not a mind reader." Jo sighed. "He thinks you don't want him."

He shook his head at that, frowning. "How could he think that? I thought it was so obvious..."

"Well it is to me hun, but then I know you."

* * * * * *

Craig sighed, and ran a weary hand through his hair. A long day, one step closer to going home. Alone.

If anything one step back in sorting out his love life. He dropped his jacket on the back of the chair and debated with himself, supper or shower.

The doorbell went, just as he was dithering, and he closed his eyes, suddenly weary and heartsick.

The bell chimed again. Craig turned around and headed towards the front door.

Pulled it open.

The object of his hopes, dreams and desires stood there.

"Stuart."

Stuart glanced back over his shoulder as though contemplating flight, "Can I come in?" he mumbled, clearly nervous.

Craig stepped back and let him in.

Once he was inside, Stu didn't have a clue what he was going to say or do, he just knew he had to say or do something, anything. For love. _Love_, that word terrified him. He leaned back against the wall and stared at the floor. He could feel Craig's eyes on him. Knowing that the man standing in front of him actually felt something for him, Stuart Turner, and it wasn't a dream gave him courage. It wasn't some rush of hormones to the head either, it was real.

He just didn't know what to say. But he had to say something, he had to get past his fear of rejection. "I.."

Craig shifted closer. "Stu, just tell me what you want."

He chanced a glance at Craig's face, a little afraid still, afraid that it might not be true. That it might be some wicked joke and he would find himself alone and lonely again.

"You."

One little word dropped between them. It quivered in the air. In the silence that followed Stu's eyes sought the floor again as his throat tightened.

Craig closed the distance until they were standing, barely touching. The fingers of Craig's right hand gently sought Stu's left hand, and he leaned in, Stu's head was still bent, hiding from him. Craig pressed his lips to Stu's forehead and trailed butterfly kisses down the bridge of his nose, as his left hand moved to curve around the back of Stu's head.

At Craig's touch Stu found the courage to look up, in the split second as their eyes met and Stu closed his, he read the love in Craig's eyes. Their lips met and Stu gave his heart away. His arms slid round Craig's waist as the other man's arms crushed him closer.

They were getting into it, losing themselves in the sensations of love. Craig moved back slowly, breaking the kiss, sliding his hand down Stu's arm to take his hand. Tugging on it, he led Stu towards the bedroom.

_The final step_,Craig had a moment of hesitation, he wanted Stu so badly he ached, but this would be Stu's first time. "Are you sure?" He whispered.

Stu nodded. Craig slid his hands under the hem of Stu's jumper caressing his skin, and Stu shivered with the intensity of passion as Craig's fingers dipped below the waistband of his jeans. Their lips met as Craig slid a finger down into the crease between Stu's buttocks. His other hand slid to the waistband button, as Stu's hands fumbled with Craig's shirt buttons.

Stu's cock strained beneath the confines of his underpants and jeans, the sensation of Craig slowly lowering the zipper made him moan with need, his hands fumbled with Craig's jeans. They broke apart for a few seconds, as Craig pulled Stu's jumper over his head. Stu kicked off his shoes, and fumbled out of his socks as his jeans slid down his legs, and landed in a heap, he stepped out of them, kicking them away. Craig kicked his jeans off, and looped a finger through Stu's underpants at the hip, tugging them down.

Finally they were naked, Craig drew his partner up against him, admiring Stu's lean body with his eyes. Stu's cock pressed against his hip as Craig cupped Stu's jaw with a hand, tilting his face up slightly so Craig could see into his eyes.

"What do you want?" he whispered. He moved his hand to caress Stu's body and the younger man quivered with pleasure.

"You... inside me... please!" Stu begged hoarsely. Once again Craig's finger dipped into the crease between Stu's buttocks. His entrance was tight and perfect, slowly Craig squeezed some lubricant into the crease and his finger continued to circle Stu's tight entrance, which yielded and Craig slipped a finger inside.

Stu sighed as Craig's finger penetrated, and Craig trailed kisses along his bare shoulder. "Do you like that??" he whispered. Stu nodded. Craig slipped a second finger inside and Stu moaned. He pressed back against Craig's hand as the third finger penetrated and he writhed against Craig's fingers.

"Now!" his voice was hoarse with need, and Craig slid gently round behind him. Holding Stu's wrists behind his back, they eased down onto the bed. Stu spread his legs giving Craig access.

"Can I?" Craig muttered, and Stu nodded again in impatience. The soft black silk scarf looped firmly round his wrists as Craig secured Stu's hands behind his back. He carefully slid the condom into place, and then his hands were on Stu's hips, and Stu was writhing beneath his hands. Craig positioned himself at Stu's entrance and slid slowly inside as Stu gasped and moaned. Craig slid his arms around Stu's waist and wrapped his hands around Stu's aroused cock, with each thrust he built up speed, feeling Stu quivering beneath him, the hoarse passionate gasps for breath, then suddenly Stu stiffened, his back arching powerfully as he came like an express train, with a wild cry.

Craig cleared away the top sheet, and gathered his lover into his arms, gently tugging the scarf undone. Freed, Stu's arms wrapped themselves around Craig's body and he burrowed in close, with a satisfied little grunt. Craig put his hand on his lover's chest, feeling the slightly accelerated heartbeat beneath the warm dusky skin.

Stu lay in his lover's arms, curled into him. He had never experienced anything quite like it, he ached a bit, but it felt good, his entire body felt so alive. He had never been loved quite like that, he could feel the strength and warmth and love flowing from Craig, he nuzzled the warm skin of his lover's bare shoulder, as gentle fingers massaged the back of his neck.

"Enjoy that?"

Stu nodded, and resumed his gentle exploration of the bare shoulder he was resting against. He trailed soft kisses along the shoulder, and nibbled at the collar bone. Craig's hand slid down Stuart's body and caressed his cock and balls. "Want to do it again?" He whispered quietly.

Stu nodded again, augmenting the nibble with a nip which drew a gasp from Craig's lips. "Make love with me again... please!" He murmured against Craig's shoulder.

Craig rolled, using the momentum to lift Stu under him. For a few seconds they savoured their bodies mashed together as their lips met, before Craig eased back, breaking the kiss. He sat back on his heels, as Stu sat up. Craig reached out to put his hand on Stu's shoulder.

Stu leaned in for another kiss, "teach me how to love you" he whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Stuart held the envelope between his hands and stared at it. His mouth felt dry and his pulse was racing. So much was riding on the contents. He turned it over and put it down on the desk in front of him. _Damn._ He just had to reach over for that letter opener and slit the flap.

He'd interviewed for the post before they'd left New York. Even before he knew he and Craig would be a couple. Which was crazy, but since Stuart Turner rarely did anything even remotely crazy, he supposed he was entitled. No one knew. Not even Craig. Stu couldn't take the chance that it wouldn't happen.

New York had been a revelation, and he realised that he had come home. Meeting Craig had only confirmed it.

If it was a no, it wasn't really a problem, he and Craig had made a commitment to each other. Stu's flat was up for sale and they were still headed back to New York, it would be more difficult, but if necessary Stu would leave the service. If it was a yes, well that was a whole different ballgame. _Damn._ He reached out for the letter opener, grasped it firmly, and slit the flap.

He got as far as pulling the folded paper out of the envelope. His fingers were trembling. _Shit_. He took a deep breath and put his hand firmly down on the desk, stilling the quivering of his fingers. When the moment passed, he opened the paper out and looked at it.

He read it through three times, his heart pounding, joy zipping through his veins. The job was his and a whole world of possibilities just opened up before him. Hurriedly he checked his watch, the five hour time difference. He wanted to ring right then and there to accept. Somehow he doubted that the man he needed to speak to arrived in the office at 0400.

He'd already put his papers in to the Met, he was leaving with Craig in six weeks, now he had a job to go to. More than that, he had a job which gave him the freedom to do certain things, including selecting his right hand _man_. That was something that he'd discussed at interview, how he would go about selecting a team. He looked at his watch again and wondered. Would Jo be angry if he interfered? She'd helped him, could he help her?

He picked up his phone. Pressed the message button. _Call Me._ He scrolled down his phone list until he hit the number. Hitting send before he had time to think twice.

One good turn did deserve another, and he could see Jo wasn't happy. Perhaps the offer he was about to make would change that. Perhaps he was counting his chickens, but suddenly taking a risk seemed like an attractive option. His world had become a lot brighter, maybe he could do it for his friends too.

* * *

Millie Brown lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. This feeling often came to her in the middle of the night, _right place, right job_ but a hole in her life. _A Jo sized hole._ Millie arched her back, rolling onto her side continuing the stretch, loving the feel of the Egyptian cotton sheets against her bare skin, but acutely aware there was no one on the other side of the bed.

Four a.m. She turned her thoughts from her empty love life to the case file sitting on her desk. Her five year career in the Met had given her all the tools at her fingertips. She supposed she should really be thanking Max Carter, just the few times they'd worked together had helped convince her, the Met was not where her future lay. The investigator job for the insurance company was a natural fit. They were so pleased with her, in six months they'd fast tracked her to a new post. More money, stability and a new life.

Millie had accepted with joy, and turned her back on her old life with but one regret. Never having had the courage to talk to Jo about her feelings.

The quiet beep from her cellphone announced an incoming message. Puzzled, Millie rolled over to pick it up. _Call me._

For a second her fingers trembled as she pondered the significance of the text. She put the phone down on the bedside unit, and rolled out of bed. She wrapped herself in the top sheet as she came to the window.

A chance meeting, a dinner invitation, several more meetings, ex-pats seeking each other's company. A common ground found and shared.

Admitting what was in her heart, and knowing that he understood. He had the same problem.

_Damn._ She looked out of her window as the dawn sunlight poured onto the East River.

* * *

Jo watched Max warily. Max's occasional clinical detachment she could understand, Max's misogynistic ways she could well do without. Her team were not particularly impressed and the tension when Carter walked into the room could be cut with a knife.

_Even Mickey looks depressed_. Jo eyed her friend with some concern. He glanced across at her, and the troubled look in his eyes worried her. She frowned, a minute shake of his head and she glanced away.

_Where did it all go wrong?_ Jo concentrated on Max Carter. She hated the sneer in his voice, it was undermining the troops, but deep inside she was horribly afraid he was right. The team had been losing confidence for a while, and everyone seemed powerless to stop it. Even top brass! She had known Lisa Kennedy for years and until recently had admired Lisa's guts and determination to succeed.

Lisa's sudden appearance at Sunhill had not been good for unity or trust. Jack Meadows' natural gift for handling his people seemed to wither under her interference.

Jo knew she had the confidence and support of her team, but that they were adrift and floundering as politics seemed to be overwhelming the management. She tuned Max out for a moment and studied the faces in front of her, Roger, Nate, Mel, Leon, Ben... they all seemed so subdued. Jo was at a loss how to help them.

_How could she help them, when she couldn't even help herself?_

She thought about Stuart. He'd taken the plunge, risked his heart for love and he'd won. She had dinner with him and Craig the night before.

The tender affection between her best friend and his lover made her think of an earlier, happier time and _Millie._

_The one that got away... no... that wasn't it._ Jo sighed quietly. It wasn't it at all. They'd had their moments. Several of them. More than would be normal between colleagues, or friends... that frisson of sensuality that flickered around the edges of most of their encounters. Jo had always held back. Then it was too late and Millie had gone. Leaving a sense of what might have been behind her.


End file.
